


Late Night Confessions

by goddess_julie



Series: More/Everything [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Genderswap, Kidfic, Schmoop, girl!Louis, girl!Zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 13:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2549792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goddess_julie/pseuds/goddess_julie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn has just gotten everything she's ever wanted.  She doesn't know how to deal with it or if she even deserves it.  She finds talking about it is just what she needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Late Night Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first outtake in my More/Everything series. This is directly following the first part of the series. Some fics will take place further in the future, some will take place in the past. They are not all in chronological order. Just snippets of their lives. It is not betaed or brit picked. Any constructive criticism is welcome. Feedback and kudos are love.

Zayn startles from a dream. Liam’s arm is firm around her waist, holding her body tight to his as he snores softly against the base of her neck. Her heart is racing and although she’s comfortable and relaxed, there is also a feeling of panic rising inside of her. Without waking Liam, Zayn slides out from under his arm and watches him shift to move onto his back. His lips form into a frown and lines crease his forehead, as though just her moving has him stressed. With a gentle kiss to his forehead and a whispered, “I’ll be back Li, keep sleeping”, Zayn moves off of the bed to slip into a pair of his trackies and an oversized tee shirt. 

Fresh air, she needs to clear her head and just think about everything that’s happened in the past twenty four hours. She can’t do that in the bed she’d fallen asleep only hours ago making love to her best friend. She can’t think clearly laying in his arms, feeling his body against hers and listening to his breathing knowing that if she wants, she can turn over and press their lips together, kiss and taste him over and over again until they’re sated.

The night is clear and beautiful. Zayn takes the first drag of her cigarette and lets the nicotine flow through her lungs. It doesn’t quell all of the anxious thoughts invading her mind but she lets the familiarity of it wash over her. Her mind is racing with how things will change when they get back home, but how they’ll stay the same. Looking into Liam’s eyes after they’d both come, kissing softly and whispering dreams and promises to each other Zayn was relieved to see that this was the same man she’d met five years ago. 

He was Liam. Her Liam. And what happened tonight wouldn’t change that.

Zayn hears him before she sees him, and it’s not until he appears at the sliding doors that she realizes exactly who else is up in the house. Harry’s mouth moves from a concerned frown to a happy smile when their eyes meet across the patio. Zayn is sitting at the pool, legs dangling in as she is smoking her second cigarette. He holds up a glass of water and joins her when she shakes her head indicating she doesn’t want one.

“You okay Zee?” His voice is low and thick from sleep. “Lookin’ kinda lonely out here alone.”

Zayn shows him the hand she’s holding her cigarette in. “Needed some air. Brain won’t shut up.”

“I don’t know you as well as Liam, or even Niall or Lou, but I can see something’s up. You sure that’s just it?”

It is universally known that with their group of friends, Harry is the easiest one to talk to about problems. Not that the others wouldn’t take it seriously, but there is something about Harry that has anyone spilling every thought, every worry, without even realizing it. He always joked about it being the aura and a healing nature he has, but Zayn has always thought it was because he was the most kind, understanding and peaceful person she’d ever met. It didn’t matter what the problem was, he was never one to judge and genuinely cared about those around him. This was why she found herself talking without even thinking about it.

“I’m so fucking scared Haz. I mean, it’s Leeyum. And I just …never thought that we’d … that he’d…” Zayn pauses when Harry scoots closer to her and pulls her close to him, wrapping his around her shoulders. “And the fact that he wants to be with me?”

“Zayn, you’re probably the smartest person I know, there’s no way you’re this daft.”

“What?”

“Tell me how you feel about him. Everything you’ve kept from us this entire time when you thought we couldn’t see it written all over your face.”

“He’s so good, you know? Like, helps little old ladies across the street and would give you the shirt off his back if you need it. He’s sweet and kind and beautiful. And I love him so fucking much that it scares me because... why wouldn’t I? How can you not love him? He’s so kind...”

“You said that,” Harry teases with a snort.

“He’s fit, so fucking good at football; he loves comics and understands that girls can love comics. He’s just … he’s perfect Hazza. And …”

“He thinks you’re perfect,” Harry interrupts. He knows Zayn wants to argue so he covers her mouth with his hand. “He does. I’m not going to tell you what he says, how he feels about you because that’s his choice. But it’s clear, even without him saying a word, how gone for you he is. How much he loves you, how you’re everything he loves in this world.”

Zayn pulls her legs from the pool and folds them against her chest, hugging them tightly so she can make herself into as small a ball as she can.

“You’re the first person he looks for when he enters a room. The last he glances at when he leaves. When you’re in a room, it’s as though nothing else matters. You two are perfect together, and I should know, Louis and I have spent years watching the Zee and Li show.”

“He deserves better, he deserves someone who isn’t a failure at relationships. I screw things up; it’s only a matter of time before I will screw this up too. I don’t mind pushing away some random bloke that I meet and can live without when it’s over. This is Li, I need him. I can’t push him away like we both know I will.”

“None of those people were Liam. They were a stand in for what you wanted with Liam. Of course you pushed them away, they weren’t your forever.”

“I don’t even know how not to be in love with him. It’s been so long, it’s like … there was only before Liam and since Liam.” Zayn lets Harry rub her arm comfortingly, leaning against him for support. “I can only assume that I’ve been in love with him since that day at the comic shop. But the first time I realized it? Like, knew I was in proper love with him?”

“Tell me,” Harry prods softly. He knows she needs to say it as much as he wants to hear it.

“It was when Danny and I had broken up. Even though we’d been such good friends, he’d spewed all these hateful things to me. The worst was when told me that I was beautiful outside but ugly inside. And that ugliness was like a disease that would infect anyone that I ever tried to love.” A tear rolled down Zayn’s cheek as she remembered that day, those words Danny had thrown at her with a sneer. 

The worst was that even before they’d started dating, they had been friends. Not anywhere close to how she was with Liam, hell even Niall or Harry, but still they were friends. “I kicked him out and meant to text Lou. I was crying so hard that instead of Louis I ended up texting Liam. He was in the middle of a date, but still came over to my flat with takeaway curry and a big bottle of wine. Liam had held me close, hugged me as I cried. All he could say was that Danny hadn’t any clue to what he was talking about, that the twat didn’t know the difference between Marvel and DC so how could he even know what beauty was. That how beautiful I am on the outside was nothing compared to the beauty on the inside and Danny couldn’t even compete and he knew it.”

Liam’s voice interrupts her in the quiet air. 

“I’ve loved you since we first met Zee. Since that day when met at the Comic Book Lounge and both had grabbed for the special edition Batman comic only to find out it was the last issue. You commented that I should be a gentleman and let you have it since you’re a girl. I laughed at you and said ‘girl or not, all’s fair when it comes to the last batman comic’ and suggested we arm wrestle for it.”

With a fond memory, Zayn thought back to that day. Looking back, she could confidently say it was the day that changed her life forever. It was the day she met Liam Payne. When he had suggested an arm wrestle for the comic, Zayn had agreed and just as he was about to win, she’d pulled her top down with her free hand and flashed him. His shock caused Liam to falter and Zayn to win the match.

“All’s fair when it comes to the last batman comic” she had laughed as she snatched it from his hand and ran up to pay for it.’

When Liam had grudgingly picked out his other purchases and gone to the front counter, he’d found out that Zayn had left a card with her name and phone number on it, and told him to call her and she’d let him read her comic if he wanted.

That had begun their epic friendship and was the first day he knew he loved her. As he was telling Zayn and Harry about when he knew he’d fallen in love with Zayn, Liam had crossed the patio and sat down beside her. Without hesitation, he cupped her face in his hands and brought her mouth to his.

“I love you Zee. I’ve always loved you.”

Harry’s goodnight is quiet and he only receives a short nod from Liam that they’ve heard him. He heads back inside; checks on Elsa who is sleeping soundly in her bassinette by their bed and curls back up with Louis. He knows she’s not gotten enough sleep, but he can’t help himself and kisses her awake. The overwhelming emotion that he’d just been witness to outside has his heart fluttering and all he wants right now is to feel Louis against him, to make love with her and make her understand just how much she means to him. How much he loves her and how blessed he feels to have her in his life. 

“Wha?” Louis whines sleepily as she reacts to his kiss.

“Love you Lou. Wanna make love to you, wanna feel you.” 

Louis’ blue eyes meet his own green and she sees the need and desire there. 

“Oh Haz,” she whispers softly. 

Outside, Zayn and Liam are sitting facing each other at the poolside. She can’t stop just staring at him, taking in every feature of his face and the way he looks at her. 

“Let’s go for a swim.” Zayn looks down at the water and up at Liam who looks surprised. “Come on, its proper romantic. Swimming in the moonlight? I’ve never gone skinny dipping.”

“How can you just lie right to my face?” Liam is laughing as he follows Zayn’s lead and stands up. She’s already pulled the tee over her head and is sliding his trackies down her legs. 

“I’ve never gone skinny dipping with my incredibly fit boyfriend?”

Liam pauses and he covers his chest with his hand. If not for the way she’s standing before him, naked and unashamed but because she’s just called him her boyfriend. He’d almost given up hope, but in this moment, he knows he’d have waited his entire life for her. For them.

Without breaking eye contact, he pulls his t shirt over his head and kicks his shorts off. Liam reaches out to ask for Zayn’s hand without hesitation, she tangles their fingers together.

“On three?” Zayn asks. Liam nods.

‘Together.”

When they surface, they’re both laughing. Zayn lets herself be pulled into Liam’s embrace, water slicing down both of their bodies. They’re kissing before she can breathe and it’s then that Zayn realizes that he’s all she`s ever going to need. In that moment she doesn`t want to waste any more time by not confessing this to him.

“Every time we’ve fallen asleep and I’ve woken up first, I’ve just laid there pretending that it was real, that we were together and I could wake up every morning with you. I have a sketchbook that I’ve never shown anyone,” Zayn licks her lips nervously as she looks into Liam’s eyes. “It’s filled with sketches of you.”

“I’ve wanted to murder every single bloke you’ve dated.”

“I was really happy when Sophia got food poisoning and couldn’t go to Louis’ mum’s wedding and we went stag together.”

Liam’s lips form into a wide grin. “Me too.”

With a giggle, Zayn kisses Liam deeply. “We’re horrible.”

“The worst,” he agrees.

“I do love you though, Jaan.” She can’t keep her hands out of his hair, stroking his scalp lovingly.

“You’re my world Zayn Malik.”

She’s not sure how long they float around the pool together, not going further than exchanging kisses and loving strokes up and down each other’s shoulders and backs. Liam emerges first and brings Zayn a towel. Once they’re both dry and redressed, Liam pulls Zayn onto the futon nestled against the screen on the deck. A feeling of content washes over Zayn as she slowly drifts off to sleep, tucked in tight against Liam’s body, secure against the back of the futon.

The sun is directly above them when Zayn finally wakes up. She is disoriented for a few moments until she remembers the night before. Her and Liam at the pool. Her midnight chat with Harry and then Liam finding her and the two of them confessing all of their secrets, their fears and their wishes to one another. As her eyes flutter open, she sees that Liam is watching her sleep and Harry is inside making them breakfast. He’s humming loudly, singing along to the radio that’s playing above the stove and his face is just barely visible through the window over the sink. Louis is at the bar feeding their daughter in the high chair and without even having to see him, she knows that Niall is playing Fifa on the big screen TV. They were surprised that they had been able to get him out of the house for as long as they did the day before, both Zayn and Louis promising him that if he got out of the house at least one day, they wouldn’t bother him for the rest of the time they were there. 

“Morning Li,” she hums, pressing her face tightly against his chest. She feels him lift her chin to take her mouth in a thorough kiss.

“Morning babe.”

“Been up long?” Knowing him and knowing her, she figures he probably has. He’s always been an early riser and she’s rarely out of bed before lunch unless she has to be. He doesn’t look put out at all, despite the fact that he’s probably been up for hours and locked in with his arm under her body on the futon.

“I love you.”

“S’not an answer Leemo.”

“Doesn’t make it less true.” He presses a kiss to her lips and extracts himself from her grasp. “Gonna take a shower.” 

Zayn feels the loss of his body beside her. She knows he’s coming back, he’s only gone into the house to shower, but she is overwhelmed. Louis flashes her a grin as she passes and Zayn smiles and waves at both her and Harry before curling up beside Niall who is indeed on the couch playing Fifa.

Instinctively, without taking his eyes off of the screen Niall pulls her closer. Zayn can’t help but hold her breath, wondering what her oldest and longest friend is thinking.

“You know I love you, right Zayner?” Niall pauses the game and focuses his attention on Zayn. He strokes her cheek affectionately and tucks her hair behind her right ear. She can only nod at him, biting her lower lip with her teeth nervously. “You deserve this. You and Payno. You’re Harry and Louis, just with more sexual tension and angst. I’ve already given him the ‘you hurt my best friend and I’ll fuck your shit up talk. But I’m always here for you. I’m his mate too, but I was yours first. You mean everything to me Zayner.”

Zayn can’t even pretend she doesn’t have tears in her eyes. She wipes at them with the neck of her tee shirt and presses her face into his throat. The tremors rattling through her body are minimal, but she knows that he can feel them. She thought she was stronger than this, she knows she has to be but there is just something about Liam that breaks down all of her defenses. That makes her vulnerable in a way she’s never let anyone make her feel before. But Niall, this is her comfort blanket. He has been her steady rock for as long as she can remember. Zayn knows he’ll be honest with her when she’s too afraid to be honest with herself. He’ll be strong when she needs him, lets her be strong when he knows she needs to be.

“Thanks Nialler.”

“Let him love you, babe. I mean, he already does. Has for a fecking long time, but just … let him. I know it’s scary, but he’ll be good to you. As good as you deserve.”

Zayn looks up to see Louis watching them without shame. She’s cuddling Elsa against her chest, stroking her back lovingly between soft pats to burp her. “Yeah baby girl, your Aunt Zayn and Uncle Payno finally got their shit together. Finally gonna start shagging and being proper in love like your daddy and me.”

“Lou,” Harry’s warning is fond, his eyes apologetic.

“You sure you wanna marry this little harpy?” Zayn calls, flashing the shorter girl the finger.

“Too late now,” Harry jokes as he places plates on the table. “I don’t need Baby Mama Drama, might as well put a ring on it.”

“Well, that is disturbing, you been watching too much American TV mate?” Liam enters the room in a tank top and low slung shorts, a towel around his hair as he dries it. 

Zayn’s breath catches as Liam grins at her. Niall snorts and pushes her off of him so he can go get the food Harry is loading up on the table. Zayn presses a soft kiss to Elsa’s pudgy cheek as she passes, doing the same to Liam.

Elsa has been put in her jumper, so that she can play while everyone eats. They’re midway through the meal, all laughing and joking when Harry makes his announcement to the group.

“We’re trying for another baby,” he grins and kisses Louis’ hand as she beams.

“Amazing mate, good luck” Niall claps Harry on the shoulder beside him and flashes Louis a wide grin.

“What about the wedding?” Zayn asks. She knows that Louis wants a big, church wedding even though she claims that it’s not necessary.

“It’ll happen when it happens,” Louis answers. Her eyes are clear and Zayn is happy to know that she means it. 

“You two are finally together, we’re gonna have another baby. Now we just need for Nialler to fall arse over tit for Perrie and go domestic and we’ll all be on the way to mature, functioning adults.”

Harry’s speech is interrupted by two echoing belches. He watches Niall lean over and high five Louis. Elsa’s laughter follows shortly as she claps and screeches “MAMAAAA. MAMA”

Everything else is drowned out by five mirroring screams of excitement and cheering. They are all up, cheering Elsa on who isn’t sure what the excitement is for, but like her Mummy is enjoying all of the attention they’re paying her.

Zayn looks at Liam who is beaming down at the nine month old baby proudly. She knows that he is going to make a fantastic dad one day. And she is excited to be the one to make him a father. She can’t wait to have his children, to spend the rest of her life making memories with him.

FINIS


End file.
